You may be a redneck Vanagon owner if...

by Arizona Bill

You may be a redneck Vanagon owner if:

• You've repainted your van camo.

• You've installed a beer keg in place of the water tank.

• Your female companion has big hair.

• You have a bumper sticker that says, "if this van's rocking, don't bother knocking."

• Your replacement engine is a 426 Hemi.

• You have fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror.

• You replaced the front bumper with steer horns.

• You travel with three or more dogs.

• You recarpeted the van with shag.

• You have a portable redwood deck to set up when camping.

• Your antenna sports a Confederate flag.

• Your mudflaps have a woman's silhouette on them.

• Parts of your Vanagon are primer colored for more than three months.

• You have a bumper sticker that reads, "Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun."

• Your horn plays "Dixie."

• You have mounted more than four driving/fog lamps on the van.

• You've named your Vanagon Bubba, or two women's names, such as Betty Jean, or Laurie Ann.

• The tread on your tires is deeper than some streams.

• Or, you live in SE Arizona.